Today I find myself a midst the deepest frustrations, swimming through the early stages of a life _______ spent. I get up everyday in a daze, not truly being awake until the anxiety sets in and then I have to worry about what I’m going to eat. But what good is it putting your fears on display, showing your bare insecure ass like a really sad baboon as if to say, “I must be the most conflicted monkey in the Jungle.” Truth is, I’m not sad and I’m not depressed and I’m not going to convince myself I have low self-esteem; I’m too old for that now. Unfortunately I just happen to love myself or, more appropriately, I love where some of my parallel timelines could take me if a meaningful choice presents itself. I’m like Link; I have the the Triforce of Courage but it’s absolutely meaningless until Ganondorf comes along. I just need Ganondorf to come so I can start collecting Medallions, or Triforce Pieces, and I need to get my hands on all of those rad tools i.e. Hookshot, Fairy Bow, Ocarina. Pop-culture references and amount of post-apocalyptic fiction absorbed does not constitute adventure-making.