#Useless Inventions Vol. 2

11 Jan


Filing this one under “Products easily replaceable by a common dish towel”, the Intimia Breast Cushion provides conflict resolution for your boobies.  Let’s be real about this, I’m not a lady so I can’t really attest to the usefulness of keeping your boobies separated when you’re sleeping,  but I know a gimmick when I see one.  Along with just the general comfort of putting a pillow between your breasts, apparently this is supposed to prevent chest wrinkles  as well.

This is all according to the Wonderful Doctor of Oz, who claims that it:

  • One Size Fits All |
  • Prevents chest wrinkles from forming in the cleavage area
  • Provides breast support and comfortable nights’ sleep for side, back or stomach sleepers
  • Reduces discomfort caused by tender breasts (PMS symptoms, nursing mothers, pregnancy, etc.)
  • Reduces or completely cures the appearance of existing chest wrinkles

All of this is fine, if the product wasn’t $59.95 on Amazon.  Listen, and I mean this, ladies have to deal with all kinds of stuff that us Y-chromosomes will never know anything about.  But don’t let people like Dr. OZ rob you blind by marketing overpriced bullshit to your demographic! I repeat, grab a dish towel and shove it down your shirt, you’ll be fine!



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Posted by on January 11, 2014 in cynical, random


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