Tag Archives: politics

State of the Union

Stand. Sit. Applause. Stand. Sit. Applause.

I believe in the social welfare of the masses blah blah blah health care, people can’t pay their bills blah blah blah
Look at this veteran dude, his head looks funny because he got bombed for nothing and it’s our fault blah blah blah

Stand. Sit. Applause. Stand. Sit. Applause.

The most pressing issues of our time CAN’T be fixed by the government.  But the problem isn’t that people don’t like jazz or don’t go to museums or whatever.  The problem isn’t that people listen to Justin Bieber or watch Youtube too much.  It’s not some perceived lack of focus or intrinsic laziness. 

The problem is people think that they’re right.  Or more moral.  Or are better than another person.  That their existence, relatively compared to another’s, is more significant. 

I just had a teeth cleaning and an eye exam free because of Obamacare.  Does that mean that Obamacare works?  I have no fucking clue.  You can’t gauge that shit by some editorialized account of ONE person’s experience.  It’s not until 5, 10, 15, 50 years have passed that you have the benefit of historical hindsight.  And even then, that very hindsight means nothing because the situation that exists, theoretically, is completely different from the one you had 5, 10, 15, 50 years ago.  What did you learn? 

Well you didn’t learn nothing.  Congratulations, you can apply historical precedent to virtually ANY situation.

I just drove through Fall River and noticed that the streets are in absolute disrepair.  I noticed that any part of the city that has significant business activity almost certainly includes a McDonalds and a Dunkin’ Donuts.  Who’s fault is that?  I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!  And I don’t even know how to find out!  Someone tell me, who do I blame?  And before you answer, please consider that your answer will most definitely be wrong.  Why is it that I’ve only been able to find seasonal/temporary employment over the past 4 years? Again, YOU DON’T KNOW!

But let me tell you why.  It’s because I have depression.  It’s because I don’t know how to motivate myself.  It’s because I can’t, for the life of me, wake up before noon on any given day.  But am I the reason why there’s national discord?  Am I the symbol of an entitlement society or lazy millennials?  Either way, how does my unique situation contribute to the national debate?

It doesn’t. 

Polls are meaningless because people’s opinions are meaningless. 

We need to stop trying to figure this shit out.

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Posted by on January 29, 2014 in Uncategorized


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#basketballdiplomacy (a haiku by j. witcher)

Kim Jong Un and you

share the same regret, Dennis.

You weren’t in Space Jam.

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Posted by on January 10, 2014 in funny, haiku, poetry, random


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